Asked by Confusiouned,
I was with this guy for 6 years, it was intense, love of my life. He dumped me a year and a half ago and I can’t seem to get over it. He is still a part of my life, we still have sex occasionally and are really trying to be friends, but what I really want is for him to love me again, but it looks like thats not gonna happen. So what do I do? I’m 28 and don’t know how to be single. How do I get over him and meet someone new without being completely terrified?
Dear Confusiouned,
I want to start by telling you to STOP HAVING SEX WITH HIM!!! I can totally understand the fear of new. Many of us have it! It’s the reason why so many people stay in unhealthy situations. No matter how great of a friend he may or may not be this sounds terribly unhealthy for you to continue. Sounds more like he is using you for sex. You need to have some self respect. Start by saying no the next time around. I am sorry that things did not work for the both of you.
So how do you get yourself out and meeting new men? I personally don’t suggest the bar/club scene. That scene can be harsh and impersonal. Here are some of my ideas as to how to go about meeting someone in a comfortable environment:
1. Get involved in an organization where you can meet new people…not just men! (New women friends are great resources for new men)
2. Join an online dating community such as FriendFinder
3. Let your friends introduce you to their boyfriends friends ( a bad blind date makes for good stories so don’t get down if it doesn’t work)
4. Take a coed karate class
5. Go on a singles cruise
There was a book that someone close gave me awhile back it was called Single by Judy Ford
Kisses,
Ask Naughty Nikki
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