He cheated and I want to forgive him. Should I? Can I?

Hey N.N.,

So my boyfriend of 5 years has been cheating on me. He says they didn’t have sex but he has made out with this girl multiple times . I love him and he says he will change and will do what ever he needs to do to get me back but i’m not sure. I am so hurt and not sure I can trust him. What do you think? I want kids and don’t want to start over since i’m already over 30yo. We have talked non stop about getting married and having kids and we even bought a house big enough for kids. I feel so blind. Did I ignore his signs? Sorry for rambling any advice?

Thanks,
R.

Dear R.,

I am so sorry that your man cheated on you.  To be honest my advice is to pack your shit and leave.  You have no kids at the moment and all you share is a mortgage.  I know you love him but there is a man much worthier of your time and attention who won’t cheat on you.  My own personal belief is that unless it is agreed on at the start of a relationship that you will date others or have an open sexual relationship with who you choose then it is not okay otherwise.  You are seriously thinking of trying to get over him betraying you and building a life long trustful relationship from this? Who the hell are you kidding? You are going to be married with kids and be stuck the next time he slips up and his dick falls into some girls hole.  Honestly I can’t stress self respect enough. People love yourselves!  Stop letting people shit on you.  In your head you think he will change and he truly believes most likely that he won’t fuck up again.  He probably loves you too.  Obviously he has some issue with staying faithful.  It’s like staying on a diet, smoking, drinking, or shopping.  You are convinced that you won’t smoke again when you quit.  You say “I will only eat healthy from now on”.  Reality check here! He will most likely cheat on you again! This is my opinion and you will most likely stay with him which is unfortunate.  I say unfortunate because from here on out you now have an added stress to your life.  Always in the back of your mind you will think about it.  Why is he late? Who was at the business dinner tonight? Why didn’t he answer his phone? Why didn’t he text me back? I guess i’d just move on.  Life is already too stressful without extra added BS.

Kisses,

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