How do I come out to my family?

I had my very first sexual encounter at the age of 12……..with my best friend at the time whose name was Tim! I unexpectedly for no reason had had an uncontrollable desire to shove his dick down my throat like I had seen other women do in porn videos. Basically, I am a 22 year old natural born male, but ever since I hit puberty I have felt as if my gender is a mistake…..I REGRET NOT BEING BORN A FEMALE!!! I have a very STRONG OBSESSION with sexy men and enormously huge penises, and I think sperm is the best tasting thing EVER! I am scared to death to break this sort of new to ANY OF MY FAMILY OR FRIENDS!!! They are all very judgmental….and I know for a fact that if I were to ever reveal my secret to them that they would either disown me for good, or harass me until I committed suicide, they arewithout a doubt those kind of people. PLEASE HELP ME!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO??

Dear Gary,

I agree sperm tastes great! You can make a couple choices. You can come out to your family or you can separate yourself from them with distance. Either way I suggest that you start living your life as the person that you are on the inside. Life is too short to live it in hiding. I’m sure hitting 22yo and not being able to act as any other 22yo is beyond difficult. Telling your family will be life changing but you then get to be you. Your family will react in all sorts of ways. Some may react with support, anger, concern, guilt, denial, confusion. They will go through many feelings in regards to you being transsexual or gay depending on how you decide to come out. I don’t know which is easier. Telling them you feel like a women trapped in a mans body or that you are attracted to men. I personally suggest getting support for your decision from a local support group before you come out to your family. This in turn will give you a group of people who will be there for you. You will need the support if your family does not accept your new identity. There is a group called PFLAG that can give you the tools necessary to start your new life with your new identity and also to come out to your friends and family.

You are going to find a whole new world out there of men and women who have gone through what you are just starting to experience. Many men and women have chosen to come out to their families. Choose a time that is not full of stress. Make sure you know exactly what you would like to identify yourself as. Be able to discuss their concern of AIDS. Assure them that you will take all precautions to keep yourself safe. Explain that you have been dealing with this since 12yo. You did not enter into this conversation with them without spending years trying to figure out how to tell them what was going on inside of you.

You deserve the chance to have a life not full of lies. Be patient with your family. Your parents may blame themselves, be ashamed, embarrassed of what others will think, or they may try to convince you that you are confused. Some have had positive experiences due to the family already having a clue. Sometimes one parent is very supportive and one is not. Be ready to give them information that you can get through PFLAG. They might fear this information because it is change. Many just don’t understand that you have not made a choice to like men. You just biologically and naturally do.

Kisses,

Ask Naughty Nikki