I have always had a fantasy about a three some (preferably with 2 girls) however my girl friend is worried that ill like the other girl too much and dump her. How can i convince her its fun and enjoyable for both of us and i will still love her?

Dear Mike,

Unfortunately this may have to remain a fantansy of yours if you wish to continue your relationship with your girlfriend.  I know you were hoping for me to impart some great wisdom that will help your girlfriend see the light and want to go forward with your threesome fantasy.  Reality is that if she is uncomfortable or has any insecurities on the subject this will most likely destroy the relationship.  And i’ll tell you that in my experience talking to couples who either hired a third partner or who met one through the computer or a swinger party the experience did not go as planned.  For most men It did not live up to the expectations that were fantasized.  The current girlfriend or wife felt left out.  The emotions that follow for the women were full of anxiety over losing their partner and for some their feelings changed towards the men.  They felt less connected or robbed of something special only they shared together.

Some threesomes do work out great and are incredible experiences.  Obviously you wouldn’t have the whole alternative sexual lifestyle of swingers if that was not the case.  But it takes a certain person to feel relaxed and free to experiment sexually out of the society considered “normal” mongomous sexual relationship.  You are asking your girlfriend to let go of her values. I personally am extremely open sexually and i’m going to have to say that it’s not fair to push that on her.

Also, if you are testing if she is or is not the correct life partner for you based on her willingness to help create all your sexual fantasies that is a very unfair scale to measure her to.

Kisses,

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